Why We Don't Teach Sharing...

Why We Don’t Teach Sharing at Pine Row — We Teach Turn-Taking Instead

At Pine Row Preschool, you might notice something surprising: we don’t ask children to “share” their toys on demand. Instead, we guide them in learning how to take turns. This might seem like a small difference, but it has a big impact on your child’s social development.

The Problem with Forced Sharing

When adults step in and say, “You’ve had it long enough—give it to your friend,” the message a child hears is:🔹 You’re not allowed to finish what you’re doing.🔹 Someone else’s desire matters more than yours.🔹 If I want something, I should complain to an adult to get it.

This doesn’t build empathy—it builds frustration. Sharing is an advanced skill that comes after children have developed a sense of ownership, patience, and trust. Most preschoolers simply aren’t ready to give up something they’re enjoying just because someone else wants it... and even as an adult I wouldn't want to.

What We Do Instead: Turn-Taking with Time Support

At Pine Row, we teach children that it’s okay to keep playing with something until they’re finished. We support turn-taking by offering tools like visual timers or sand timers. The child playing chooses how long they need, and the other child can count on getting a turn soon.

This creates:✅ Emotional safety✅ Trust in adults and peers✅ Respect for personal boundaries✅ A sense of control in social situations

We Give Them the Words

Rather than speaking for your child, we teach them to speak for themselves. With time, they begin to say things like:🗣️ “I’m still using it. You can have it when I’m done.”🗣️ “Can I have a turn when you’re finished?”🗣️ “Let’s set a timer so we both get a turn, how many minutes do you need?”

You’ll see us model these phrases early on, and then slowly step back as children take the lead.

Why This Matters

When children are allowed to take turns rather than forced to share, they learn that their feelings matter—and so do others’. They develop real empathy, negotiation skills, patience, and self-regulation.

We’re not interested in quick fixes. We’re raising thoughtful, kind, emotionally intelligent kids.

At Pine Row Preschool, we don’t demand sharing. We teach something more powerful: how to listen, wait, express yourself, and trust others. That’s a life skill that lasts far beyond the playground.